As I sat and read a small flyer on the various comedians coming up, I hear it that little voice… A voice of critics, of grumpy days, and negatives details… But I know. It’s not really that voice. It’s dead easy to confuse them, the disguise is so good. And behind this impossibility I create to appreciate the moment, hides anger, jealousy, fear and much more. All into that imitated voice. I fell into that trap again, head and feet first. What trap? The “compare” trap. The “still not there” trap. The “not good enough” trap. And I know better. I know “to compare” works when you compare looking for inspiration and not judgement. Ouch! The great thing when you fall into a trap head first? You always knock your head. Ouch again! Okay okay, I got it… Inspiration. I repeat, inspiration.
… but about the play. You have your cards in hand, it’s nearly the same hand as yesterday, the changes between the two are so small you may not even see it, and still you have the power to play it completely differently. And that, that can change everything.
It’s not that I am slow, sleeping or procrastinating, it’s just my brain. It seems lost in the meanders of its own, processing you know what in an unknown world behind my conscious veil. I glimpse one or two things happening behind the veil and that’s it. That’s it! And here I am with two choices left. One, accept the slowness, keep loving my brain and mind and make the best of my day, one step at a time. Two, run mad, beat myself up for my slowness, and become angrier and angrier at everything around. Hum? Tough choice would say some people. Tough choice? Are you kidding? One step at a time, always. There are no meanders which won’t come to an opening.
We all have bagages. Real ones, virtual ones. Some wrapped in color like good memories, other taking shades of grey depending on the days. And some times we leave them behind in storage for a while. I did that 7 years ago when I decided to rent a house I have in Ireland. Not sure what was going to happen next, I rented the house furnished and took out the minimum with me. And with some pieces of furniture and decoration left in Ireland were some of my multi-color bagages. What an interesting experience 3 weeks ago while stepping in the house to discover every pieces had been taken out by tenants along the years. Every pieces. The rainbow ones, the grey ones. And here I go, involuntarily stepping into minimalism… Or was it?
Here you are way behind schedules on plenty of things, feeling stuck with many items, but as you walk to get your train you have that tiny idea. A miniscule one, waving from afar… and that’s enough. That’s enough to put a smile on your face. With this idea comes movement, and later on will be action, change of perspectives, direction. And that’s all that’s needed to unstuck a day. An idea and a smile on your face.
… Is that they are never really clean. It’s like the expression “starting from scratch”, this is never really possible – except in sport I guess. And that’s good. What we do really is to start with a different type of slate, slightly thicker maybe, slightly different shape, and using what we’ve learned we go at it again. But we never take the same slate, clean it and start again. No, we rather use our famous 3F of positive learning I talked about in Swim Like A Fish, and we go at it from another angle.
You see Universe, lately, each time I have done something to widen the box and stepping up, you shut it right back at me really tight and right now I am suffocating in that box. In all those damned boxes. I just want to kick in the middle of everything, see the ants of my mind panicking, and hopefully they won’t just start recreating order but rather nurture a welcome disruption. A f#$%@=g needed transformation. And yes voicing out loud when burgers and red wine don’t do the trick any longer is a skill, a strength even.
Who am I? That’s just a tricky question… Do you know who you are? Do you need to know? It’s a bit like trying to define the universe – not that I am as cool as the universe, at least nobody mentioned it – but like it, I am much more unknown places than define locations. I have dark holes and star moments, plenty of unchartered spaces, moon and satellites, and more questions than answers… Way more. Just one answer in three words, a coach, a writer and a speaker… And a bloody believer in the good side of human race, at least 200% believer, cool right?
I’m amazed how often I hear people confusing self-leadership and leadership. It’s true to become a great leader, you have to develop a very strong self-leadership, there is no way around it. However you can develop amazing self-leadership without embracing leadership or management. This is the beauty of self-leadership. It gives you tools to empower yourself to decide what you are going to do with your potential, and the choice is yours. What self-leadership gives you is actually simply amazing! It gives you an amazing knowledge and acceptance of who you are, what you can do and where you may decide to go, that you can get the most of your life. And what you decide is this “most” is yours to choose. True, having this kind of choice is power, and power can be scary, but let’s keep that conversation for tomorrow. Right now, just sit, relax, and enjoy the moment.
I take another glass. This is one of these times… When you just resolve your current issues to directly get another one falling on your lap. Just like a black pearl necklace. One and one and one again… Black, round, brillant and shiny and still a damn problem to resolve or curb. A song in your head, a chorus. And I take another glass. Won’t make me forget. Won’t make me find the solution. Rather the opposite… And I could fall for the trap of blaming myself for an evening of poor habit or for things not always working perfect around me. But you know what? It’s bloody good to do crap! And rather than doing crap in a crap way let s do crap well!