Here it is beating. I don’t hear it though, neither feel it. Impossible. It’s becoming bigger and bigger and bigger than my own cage. A cage, a rib, a heart, an explosion. Way too big. Happiness knocking on the wall of my cage with no reasons… but a question… How come? The happiness list is there, most items unchecked… and happiness is here, definitely checked. What next? For the shards of my heart’s explosion, no available recipients! For the brain behind it, no available reasons! For the personalities of my multiple disorder, no sense to make of it! Bigger and bigger and bigger, and louder, stronger, challenging. Can’t keep it together, can I? This dialogue with the unknown and a rib-cage too small.
Here it is beating. I don’t hear it though, neither feel it. Impossible. It’s becoming bigger and bigger and bigger than my own cage. A cage, a rib, a heart, an explosion. Way too big. Happiness knocking on the wall of my cage with no reasons… but one request… surrender! Sadness never takes it all this way. Sadness is known territory, always content with a familiar light, a thread to hang onto… Thread of hope? Thread of despair? Thread of hanging there? But a known thread… Happiness takes it all. No prisoner. A decisive unknown asking for all you’ve got. All the trust you hold onto.
From a wall board, a recycling board. The good thing in recycling is the notion of evolution and innovation. The thoughts is here, I already had it with a previous story, and it’s back there, recycled hence not exactly the same, already evolved, and ready for proper innovation. My own PET –Personnel Evolving Thoughts- turning into FLEECE –FLowing EnErgy Creating Evolution. Wow!
A huge white-board -4×2 meters- there on my wall. It’s not a white board actually, rather a wall-board –and not a wild-boar, as this will really not have any use in this story. A wall as a board, and much too white, even with all the post-it on it. Assumptions? Dreams? Desires? Ideas? More ideas? Facts? All thoughts passing through my head once, again and again, or simply once, striking like lightning… At times a wild-board, wild thoughts…. At time a well-board, proper thoughts…. At other, a wall-bored, thoughts going in circles. Once in a while I look at it, my collection… hum… maybe “collecting your thoughts” is not always the solution…