I love how myths come about. Cool, right? Urban myth. Old folklore myth. Societal myth. Plenty to keep us busy and entertain. And here we are with this Hunter and Gatherer story. Right, that’s not a myth. Likely to be truly something we went through as part of evolution. Happy even to say without that step we would not be here to talk about it. But here is the myth still spread in corridors… “You see, we, men, we are visual beings, this is coming from the time we were Hunters, we needed to see; this is why we pay attention to appearance, we can’t help it…” and so, and son. Duh? Have you ever tried picking up berries? Have you ever tried making the difference between an eatable berry and a poisonous one? A different shade of blue is what may make the difference… yes, a different shade of blue and maybe a slightly different shape of leaves in the tree. Pfff… Thanks God, women are visuals, or clearly we would not be here to talk about it, all dead by ingestion of deadly nightshade… So when you come to an online dating app date with your tracksuit, revealing finally that your profile pics are from an unknown model who has nothing in common with you and your belly, don’t be surprise the ones who stays look for compensation in your wallet.
Should we set expectations once for all? Or undo a myth? I mean, it’s true, depending where we work, there are many expectations on how we should dress up. And yes, it’s slightly disturbing that, when hiring for diversity, we do ask everyone to turn into one another with the same type of clothes or attitudes. It’s even more disturbing to know that many companies prefer using their employees’ brain power to manage wearing suits rather than to brainstorm and be creative in meetings. But let’s leave that aside for a moment, and let’s go back to basics…. Ladies, next time you hear a guys thinking out loud… “Yeah, you know, maybe you could put some make up, or wear something a bit more classy”… Turn around and checks the pecs… and maybe think out loud “Yeah, man, you know, maybe you could go to the gym in the morning, get the pecs (and belly?) a bit more classy”… Time to undo a myth -and yes more to come on that- we, ladies, have eyes and know how to use them.
Trois, quatre, voire cinq fois et plus je l ouvre. C’est simple, chaque fois que je passe devant, quelque soit l’heure, le moment de la journée ou de la nuit, avant ou après le passage du facteur… C est sans importance. Je l’ouvre. Elle et sa boîte à lait. Ah oui la boîte à lait, c’est un truc suisse, et là c’est rarement du lait qu’on y trouve, mais plutôt des petits paquets, des pubs, et souvent rien. Y a des gens qui traînent. Ils hésitent. Ils se forcent. Ils l’ouvrent à reculons cette boîte aux lettres. Mais pourquoi ? Binh oui, pourquoi? Alors oui, il y aura peut-être une facture -ou plusieurs… Mais aussi, peut-être une surprise…? La lettre d’un amoureux transit? La carte postal d’un ami perdu de vue? Une fourmi, perdue en ville, qui cherche son chemin et surtout un petit coup de main? On ne sais jamais… et ça, c’est fantastique.
… In the learning. Here you are trusting a situation, assessing progress, making it steps by steps, your mind and spirit into it. And pang, just like that, a slap in your face… A comment completely unexpected telling you your initial assumptions about how to trust the situation are not accurate. And the slap hurts. It threw you off balance. You’re hanging there looking to ground yourself again. And that new grounding can only happen with the learning. The positive learning of the situation. A beautiful statement starting with ‘I’, written in the affirmative and the present tense. Keep at it.
At times, people need you to be someone else to credit their own shortcomings, they wrap you in this heavy ill-fitting coat, giving meaning to your actions rather than asking questions. Hang in there, they may be afraid to learn, you are not.