Feeling yourself? Am I feeling myself? as filling myself up, becoming full, with life, ideas, emotions, mind, heart, movement and more, eating away every single inch of emptiness… Down the hatch the feeling, the laughter and the smiles… Ogre of life in progress!
Confused… at times more than confused… family time and memories times… How come remembering past events annoyed me so much, at times bored me (to death would say the little devil). Maybe it’s about that, memories and remembering is not actually living; it’s running after something which has been rather than building what could be? Day-to-tomorrow please? My memories are here like a good tone muscle, still what I like is the run!
Tap tap singing in my head closed onto the notes, the rhythm, the feet moving along. Tap tap Lindy-hop or swing. Tap tap jazz soul and heart. Tap tap blood pulsing through my veins, oxygen in ebullition, dancing till the moon sings.
“What, we are not moving” said the legs, “what we are sitting, we can’t be sitting, seriously… sitting is new smoking. Get moving.” Pause… “Really you seriously planned to sit all day… in front of that pc… seriously”… Ah the joy of internal dialogue when you go cold turkey on hiking…
A Mountain Oxygenation Vibrating Element… a MOVE which keeps you on the move for more than 21 thoughts several weeks after! A MOVE for a fish on a hill thinking already of the next fishy trail!
One day left… Only one day ? Where are those 174 km, 11000 meters up, 12160 going down? gone, disappeared already under the eagerness of the feet. Damn… Can I do it once again? Can I extend it for another two weeks? Rewind the reel and my world to a second beginning? The end is the beginning? Hum… the spiral has spiraled, the end is just another beginning.
Whatever the challenges of the day, it is so easy. It is simple: about walking, about moving one foot after the other, about a rucksack in place, about pacing oneself on the path, about an action to be done. But evening… whatever the easiness of the evening, it can be a challenge. The absence of tasks, the absence of actions to fill the mind, the role is unclear, the visibility may disappear with the night, and still that’s when the mind is on its own that evolution really happens!
I can see the path ahead. It looks hard, exposed, and slippery. Slight shiver. And I am now on the path, one foot after the other, simply focused, mind and feet acting with the same intention, staying firmly on the ground. Easy and big smile. Hum… looking ahead or a perception to create difficulties?
Two people sitting, a landscape, a fog dancing with the light, a coolness in the air, a poster of a movie (out of Africa) freezing the moment into my own happiness reel. It will not be remembering, it will be turning on the reel, and the movie playing , the skin cold, the vision short, the mountain spirit in the fog, a rainbow of sensation in my own resources bag.
Each encounter on this path is about what happens next, and what happens now. The past is there, a foundation and a rock we have already climbed. But today each hikers is only looking at the stones moved at the moment and the ones of tomorrow. From day-to-past to day-to-tomorrow with an emphasis on day-to-day! A new kind of freedom, un-trapped from the already lived and completed past.