Icy on the outside

A frozen path along the jetty, a blanket of ice over the stairs, and the water at 5˚C, nearly better in the water than outside, the rush of cold water grounding the mind to a set of roots, long roots stretching to heart, stinging hands and feet, and life.

Navigation in mixed waters?

Morning time, walking in the street, light breeze or cold weather, it seems everything would do, each step is simply another one in peace and gratification, I am alive, I am fed, I have slept in a proper bed. I am healthy, my closed ones are healthy, I can breathe, I have a good book to read, I can plan, I have friends to see, I have people to call, I am in the moment, each step a dance in the rhythm of life. Evening time, walking in the street, light breeze or cold weather, it seems nothing will do, each step a pure moment of isolation, whatever directions I look, none of my mountains are moving, none of my close friends or relatives seem to understand what I am trying to accomplish, were are those friends or closed ones by the way, no phone calls, no recent messages… I am in the moment, each step widening my circle of isolation, my flood of loneliness. I guess that’s it, learning to be happy… is like learning to navigate in mixed waters, drinking from one, sliding through the other, until one of the mountains cracked open, showing a simple hike along the river of the unconscious mind?